I’m Not An Influencer, So I Was Only Invited to the Coachella Live Stream

Back in my day (Summer 2020), we had to consume live music from virtual music festivals. During quarantine, musicians recorded themselves playing in the middle of Joshua Tree, their homes or even rented out whole venues, all to bring somewhat of a festival experience to music lovers, while we just sat in front of our computers, desperately yearning for the cherished moments of pushing through crowds, fan-clacking, and “WHOOP-WHOOP”ing.

But live music is back now. Coachella actually happened in person. Nature is healing. 

However, some of us never financially recovered from the pain COVID-19 inflicted upon us. That's me. I'm some of us. So I (mostly) stayed home last weekend and tuned into the live stream. Here’s what happened.

Friday 

9:48 PM EDT

I forgot I was commissioned to write this piece until now. I look up how to watch the Coachella Live Stream, and I learn it’s on YouTube. I walk into Channel 1, and The Regrettes are playing. While the lead singer is full of energy, it’s not for me. I try to flip to the other channels, but this is the only one that’s live. I sigh deeply and give into her bubblegum pop white girl energy. 

Do I Regrette agreeing to this? Maybe a little.

The Regrettes are now covering “Girlfriend” by Avril Lavigne, and all I can think of is the clip of her saying, “I'm just a rock chick. I like to rock out. I like to throw shit around. I like to go nuts. I like to lose myself on stage. I like to scream. I like to break things. I like to yell. I like to get my anger out.” 

Did you also know Avril Lavigne is dead? The Avril we see currently is Melissa Vandella.

10:02 PM

The crowd (live stream chat) is being racist about a performance by local Cahuilla tribe members (the first known group to inhabit the Coachella Valley). Color me surprised.

10:04 PM

Omar Apollo is so sexy. Wait, how old is he? Okay, he’s 24. We’re only three years apart. We can be together.

He’s opening with a song in Spanish. We love a multi-cultural king.

10:10 PM

Okay, I see his appeal.

10:13 PM

Never mind, I yawned.

10:27 PM

Carly Rae Jepsen is killing it. She’s so fun.

10:40 PM

The City Girls is on, and I feel at home, but I also believe that society has progressed past the need for hypemen.

10:48 PM

I wish I were there in person to join the twerk off, tbh.

10:52 PM

The City Girls telling the Coachella crowd to yell back the lyrics is so crazy to me.

12:00 AM

I’m back. I took an hour-long break because the music was making my head hurt. Madeon is about to perform, and I’m so excited because I love Madeon.

The last time I saw Madeon was with my ex. This stream is making me want to cry.

12:30 AM

OMG, I love TNGHT.

12:45 AM

Black Coffee is absolutely murdering it. So happy to see a Black man dominating the Sahara tent at a prime time slot.

1:00 AM

As the other channels opened up for the headliners, I looked through each schedule to see which set to catch. Unlike most of my festival experiences, I didn’t really have a set conflict. I know I want to see Baby Keem, but until then, I have an hour to kill.

I’ll try Phoebe Bridgers? A lot of people seem to like her.

1:08 AM

At Phoebe Bridgers. I feel like this is the type of music you’d need to know the lyrics to…

1:17 AM

I switched stages again, and wow, Anitta is incredible. It's unfair that Brazil has Baile Funk and Anitta! Brazil is always telling people to come there. Maybe they’re onto something.

By 1:30 AM, I fell asleep.

Saturday

The most beautiful part about watching a live stream is the lack of commitment. I don’t have to fight my way through a sea of people to get where I want. I can get up and leave. So what did I do? I went to the club and watched some house music. Live.

Sunday

11:15 PM

I wake up from an accidental three-hour long nap, forgetting I should be watching the Coachella live stream. It reminds me of when I was at Gem & Jam 2020, and my ex-boyfriend and I fell asleep in the car. A random person knocked on the window to wake us up and remind us it was already four hours into the festival.

Anyway, I head over to the Coachella YouTube channel to start the third day.

I should really be getting to bed because I have work tomorrow, but you know how it goes.

11:25 PM

Solumun is the perfect vibe for the Coachella sunset. Deep house and techno during golden hour is A1 programming. My soul feels free.

11:45 PM

Dave is quite literally blowing my mind. His stage presence is strong, and the crowd is super engaged.

I look away from my screen only to see the next time he will be in NYC, and it turns out he’ll be here next Tuesday. Getting tickets for this expeditiously.

11:50 PM

Dave brings a fan named Darrel on stage for “Thiago Silva." It might be the most heartwarming thing I’ve seen all weekend.

I don’t know the lyrics for this song, but I feel like that should be me on stage.

12 AM

Duck Sauce is from NYC...well Armand is. Nice.

12:55 AM

When is it my turn to manage Fatboy Slim?

Am I, as a dance music artist manager, a failure?

1:11 AM

Doja Cat is star-made.

But also, how do women performers wear itty bitty bodysuits without worrying about everything falling out??? Like I am scared for Doja Cat.

2:33 AM

NO WAY DUKE DUMONT IS PLAYING ‘I GOT U’ RIGHT NOW. I AM GOING TO CRY.

Retrospective

Will I do this again? Probably not. Do I kind of want to go to Coachella next year? Yes.

Coachella publicists, call me.